Her Brotherhood

From Navy to Millions - Jen Williamson

January 23, 2020 Abby Bolt & Jen Williamson
Her Brotherhood
From Navy to Millions - Jen Williamson
Show Notes Transcript

Jen was a misunderstood child with a kind and generous heart however she was often unjustly criticized. Becoming sensitive to her environment she became aware at a very young age of how differently people communicate. Whether it was parents, other kids or teachers, she could quickly discern if people were effective or ineffective communicators.

Desperate to create a better life for herself, she enlisted in the NAVY at eighteen years of age. This was where she learned to implement structure, discipline and how to create great habits. As her career progressed, she focused intently on different types of leadership and she became aware of two highly contrasting leadership styles. 

The first type is Authoritative Leadership. Authoritative Leaders try to get things done by their positional rank or authority. These leaders believe respect automatically comes with their position and they tend to be ineffective communicators. This leads to a more difficult process and generally less effective outcomes.  

The second type is True Leadership. Regardless of their rank or position, True Leaders are role models through their actions. By effective communication they can get the desired results in a fast and efficient manner because people want to perform at their best out of respect and a desire to please their leader.

Jen has honed her True Leadership skills and used her methodology to create a successful marriage for over a quarter of a century to her husband Willy. She is also the mother of two beautiful twins. Zac and Zoe are pursuing their passions while stepping into their own authentic lives. Jen has used her leadership techniques to create an independently owned multi-million dollar real estate investment company as a real estate investor and successful real estate agent.  

Jen’s mission is to share the same techniques she has used to build the life of her dreams in order to help her clients achieve the life they have always dreamt of. Jen is passionate about sharing this wisdom to improve marriages, relationships with children and improving corporate cultures. She is leading a movement to make this world a better place and would love for you to join!

Support Jen
Email: Jen@jenwilliamson.com
Facebook: Jen Williamson FB
Instagram: The Jen Williamson IG
Website: Jenwilliamson.com
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Abby:   0:00
Okay, you guys, I am here with Jin Williamson. She is previously from the United States Navy, and I've been so excited to seek out and find her because she has quite a story from her background and also where she's headed. So welcome to the show, Jen,

Jen:   0:16
Thank you so much. I'm really excited to be here and just excited, too. He touched the audience. Well,

Abby:   0:22
now tell me. So I I talked about the navy part. That's to you. That there, that's your former title to me. Now tell me about what you're doing now. What have you been doing since the Navy?

Jen:   0:33
Your oh, my goodness. So much So I've been married for 26 years. I have a, ah, wonderful partner. And really, we We've made a commitment to bring out the best of being one another. We kind of joke and say that we've been sharpening each other for 26 years and we have 20 year old twins for thriving and living their authentic life. But, you know, I'll tell you, I really a very rough start to begin with. I grew up in the apartment and, um, not the good ones. We didn't have furniture and, you know, I shopped at the Salvation Army. And the irony is, I never thought of myself before I actually thought of myself last because I knew of kissing Cambodia that actually didn't have food and had distended stomach. So kind of always had this this mind set of you that I was fortunate and abundant. And I learned at a very young age that I was very good at making much in the apartment. I could shovel snow, wash cars, walk dogs when it rained. I mean, it was like the apartment for a gold mine does kind of thought of myself is written and my hearing back to back, um, pretty significant trauma as a child, a zit young teenager and, you know, really went through a very difficult time, and I was able to reattach a story that need it. So I was not a victim, and I was able to really take that mean and turn it into power because pain hold this back and it makes us sick physically, mentally. So I work with clients with my coaching on. How can we turn our pain into power? Unfortunately, I I joined the Navy in 18 and I was able to couple the mentality that I had, um, at the young age of my positive attitude, and I was able to couple that with havoc in routine and disciplined. I learned in the military

Abby:   2:24
before we get there, I want to know about I want to know about those few months leading up to choosing the Navy. Like, how did that? Where When were you? Like I'm going the military.

Jen:   2:33
Okay, Well, um, that's really had very little choice. Is to be very honest with you. I had a dear friend who was going to be joining the Navy, and she said, Just just just talk to my recruiter. So the irony is we actually signed up for the buddy system. We were gonna join together. We both signed up and it was time to go, and I went and she didn't. And it was funny. People were like, Were you mad at her? It's like Heck, no, I was like, thank you

Abby:   3:02

Jen:   3:02
the gift. The

Abby:   3:03
right now we have to be attached, and yeah, early.

Jen:   3:07
And that's that's really when my life with a big turn when I started implementing really really good habit with the discipline and be extremely structured. And my life just really exploded. It was it was almost like a rebirth. And, you know, I've really been very fortunate to have created generational wealth for my for my family. And, um no. And now I get to share the mindset of the mind set of How do you raise leader? You know, my Children are leaders. They won't compromise and knew. So many people talk about work, work, work on home like balance. You can have both, and I get to share that. Like I think of a a seesaw like one goes up, one goes down. If your business goes up, the salmon life goes down. And actually, I teach people to make their homes a charging station. On that way, they can really go to work and be better. And guess what? If we're communicating well, a managing our minds well with work and pouring into other people selflessly guess what? We come home better, too, and they just keep propelling each other. Really? It's so amazing. When I see my clients have the transformation,

Abby:   4:19
that's really great. And so you say clients. So tell me what that means. So you have clients because you do. What?

Jen:   4:26
Yes. So I'm I'm a top real estate agent here in Hampton, Rosa in Virginia Beach. And actually, I got my real estate license because I'm a real estate investor and I actually hired an agent. One time it almost got sued. And I said to my husband, I want it. I need to control this guy. Actually, if this time was a licensed dental hygienist because it was great career where I could travel his career and, you know, follower, ever He got stationed his seat, He was in the Navy as well, and I had gotten out of my six year mark. So So I thought my real estate license. And next we know people just kept saying, Can we not help? I want help. I want help. And about six years ago, I got certified as a life coach because, you know, I worked with with so many people in very high emotional states because you know, they're home and money is extremely emotional, and my goal as a leader is to not follow their emotions when they're spiraling. My goal is that we pulled him out in a best of every situation, no matter what it it. So then the coaching business started picking up as well, so I do both. So, um and it's it's It's ironic because they they both go, though he

Abby:   5:43
interesting how they complement each other. He never relieve in. Could I never imagine seeing that the real estate business and life coaching and it makes complete sense. Yeah,

Jen:   5:52
it really does. Yeah, and it really set me apart, you know, because I can sell somebody an absolutely gorgeous home. But if they're walking into their home at the end of a long workday and a job that they didn't like or, you know, running a business where they're frustrated, they're carrying that into their home and then you know when they come home, if they're weakening their family, then they go back to work week, you know? So it's all about strengthening, and really, how can we sharpen each other is a family and all show up literally as 11 number 11 You know, not in a tent, not in denying intentionally showing up at an 11 and I teach clients had to build what I call a very, very healthy immune system and most of the emotional immune system. Because when our emotional immune system is super strong, when the dust comes, it's gonna come. When the stuff comes. We are able to make the best of every situation, be a leader, be proactive and not reactive and and just react emotionally.

Abby:   7:00
Everything you're saying is it's so spot on and I don't think many people would expect to hear them from their Realtor s. Oh, right, right, Very. It's a great

Jen:   7:08
that. That's why I can close. Really, really big Gap.

Abby:   7:13

Jen:   7:14
you know,

Abby:   7:14
the goal is that

Jen:   7:15
let's keep the goal in mind and let's just keep the needle inching in the right direction. The gap is either going to get bigger or smaller, and my goal is the leaders that we believe that needle, you know, closer Thio closer to getting getting that gap clothes and work.

Abby:   7:31
Do you think if you didn't have the background in the military that like the term a leader and the concept around leadership, do you think that will be coming to you as naturally as it is?

Jen:   7:40
Oh, let me tell you my time in the in the Navy was literally the best thing that I did. I feel like I literally got PhD and leadership. Now, when I say that two different types of leaders one which is not good one, which is you're gonna follow me because of my leg and parents do it. You're gonna listen to me because I'm the father on the mother? No, that that that's positional authoritative leadership. It does not work, Not at all, but won't model leadership regardless of your rank. Regardless of your position, you're a true role model. You can lead situations, and I feel like in business, that's what we have to do. We have to be leaders, not followers of negative situation. And, you know, and his parents, we have to be leaders. And even with our spouses, you know, my dad always said it is the responsibility of the emotionally more intel. Intelligent person can make things right. It is not about being right.

Abby:   8:46
Yeah, they're closing the count's Yeah,

Jen:   8:48
loathing the gap.

Abby:   8:50
That that's excellent. And you met your husband in the Navy? Is that right?

Jen:   8:55
I did. Yeah. We're both Sigmund. Why? We never married six months later. And, um, months after we met. 05 months after we met. Well, and it's our 26 year anniversary's coming up this month.

Abby:   9:11
So until you show, you're

Jen:   9:12
really blessed and again it. You know, we both We both came into this relationship having had experience significant trauma. Yeah, and you know, everybody is triggered. But how can, as a leader, how can meet? We not do a trigger dance?

Abby:   9:32
Yeah, right, right.

Jen:   9:33
Let's let's say he's triggered by something and then a trigger for me. And then I figure him like that's what most people are doing. They're in a freaking trigger dance

Abby:   9:45

Jen:   9:45
what they say. If someone's triggered and you to go up to them, you say, Let me help or I love you, you know, like, have a great night and you know they're there. They're there. Come a pastor that I look until I loved it, he said, We need left fingers and more thumbs. The fingers are pointing at other people and the thumb are pointing at ourselves. Think how can I lead? How can I make the basket out of every situation? How can I fix six? I'm a leader. I'm not a follower.

Abby:   10:17
I like that. Yeah. God, I love all these little nuggets of wisdom you're bringing here, cause there yes, I love it. And that's why I love doing these interviews is you just never know what is in someone, and and I love the radio people that come from all these different disciplines. And so, um, you know, because I saw you out because you were in the Navy and I saw what you're doing is an entrepreneur. And then it's just such an amazing combination that makes amazing women like you. And now you talk about trauma. Now, your trauma came from like your upbringing when you were growing up.

Jen:   10:48
D'oh! Get well, I will stay. Let me start with this. I have I have two parents that are very, very loving, kindhearted people. So I was left with that. Would I say that was the tribal hood that I've been able to give my Children absolutely not completely big night and day, but they're very good people, but yeah, I was actually I was in a really, really bad situation when I was 14 years old with somebody who's 20. Um, you know, I never really I don't want a legal. It's great because that sounds so victim. But call it that on. Then my running coach. I thought I was pregnant, my running code left mate, and he basically told me that he was giving me an abortion and he sanded floors for a living, so he had keep cheese bacon home. So what? He would do all sort of, like nasty things. And I was very naive and thought that he was helping age. So, um, and then course, when you're going through that and you don't feel like you can speak about it at home, there's conflict at home. And then I moved in with my God and, you know, and then you know, that went not well. And, you know, it was my mom and he visited me. So there were,

Abby:   12:09
you know,

Jen:   12:10
there was sadness, and there was loneliness. And, you know, I really suffered for many, many, many years and, you know, But I would tell myself stories two fuel myself, Um, not weaken myself. I would say, You know what? I'm learning from this. I'm getting strong from this guy, you know, and I really used that pain, and I wasn't paying It took me a while to get to the point where I was able to turn it into What is the purpose? Why did this happen? And I know why it happened. It made me unstoppable. It made me very, very, very strong once, you know, once you've made your lives, I like that where you feel vulnerable, you feel like you've been taken advantage of and the life that you just, quite frankly, don't. Mike. Um And then like I joined the Navy, I was a happy squirrel that I think ever went to boot camp. This is great. I'm not alone anymore. I'm not, dare I say by Buddha. I particularly like the happiest girl in the world.

Abby:   13:14
That's interesting, because some people would see that that is the most terrifying thing in their life because they leave home and they got this. Thanks. And they're gonna yell that all the time and, you know, and they have that flip flop to where? No, actually, it was the safest, the most secured, though. You know,

Jen:   13:28
they pay then? Yeah, it felt so good. And, you know, the irony is I even had to take a lock for this to join the Navy. Now its body separate. Then it was Wade and I was so heavy I didn't even need the wave requirements and, you know, and then, you know, fast forward. Years later, I gave birth to my twins while my husband's in flight school. I literally weighed £200 when I have them and I go to a Fitness America qualifier and I say I'm going to do that next year. And sure enough, I qualified fitness America when my twins were 22 months old.

Abby:   14:02

Jen:   14:02
with the point being is, you know, we really we make up these stories, we make up these paradigms and it's so empowering when we bust through them. And when we're not carrying around this back path of down, we're really, really unleashed. And we can create stories where we're, like, really, really using the negative and learning and launching from that. It's a huge advantage.

Abby:   14:33
Well, like you were were talking about how blessed you are and what what an amazing life you have. And you have wealth and you've done great and a lot of people think like I just I want to be like Jen. I wanna be like them, Jim and willing like that's so great. Like they think that you just stepped into it. And a lot of people don't realize that you are a fighter and you fought your way to where you're at. It doesn't just it doesn't just come out of the sky.

Jen:   14:54
You're right. I actually had somebody come over to my house and, you know, people know that I'm safe on the safe person, that people come to me with all sorts of things and I for into people endlessly because I do have a very from emotional immune system and I can I have the ability and I have the heart to serve and transform lives. And I say something more with my house, and she was crying and, you know, we just felt third dream home. And it's like, I need to know anybody who lived like this really growing up, ever. And, um and she came over. She was crying in a single mom and struggle things like, I just want to be like you and Willie. I wanna have what you have. And I showed her the Facebook I actually post on Facebook. The iceberg I could. You are seeing the tip of the iceberg like we went through. You know, when our twins were like but three and four, we almost didn't make it like we are known were known to be a super strong family with, like, an amazing Naret. Amazing. We are about what we did, Woz. We were able to take those things that literally almost broke us down. Like when you break about and then it's healed, it actually grows back stronger, Right? So I spoke about gaps before, So we had a gap in the parents and he started barking at my babies in the ghetto and Jen came out and I being Obama bear can reps demise. So I had to. So as I was pointing the finger at him wanting to rip the eyes out, I really had to bring some back to me, the thumb back to me and say, You know what? I thought my family together I was not gonna have that, that parenting, that that was reactive to him and and I fought for my family and I the way I did it was changing the way I communicate,

Abby:   16:47
not expired with a

Jen:   16:49
lead. No. And I was able to lead, and I was able to bring out the back. Right. And I'm very fortunate that, I mean, I'm married to a man with the most incredible moral compass. But, you know, when we have these traumas, you know, some people are triggered more than others, and and you know it would. It would come out in the appearance that we Ignat that super quick, but it almost took us down and, you know, way went through periods where we had $30 a weekend. Or we could get a blockbuster movie and share a case. Idiot, you know, And and it's like But it's really this simple. The goal is, get a little bit better every day, a little bit better. And when we when you think about it, we are nothing. Nothing more than then a result of our habit, huh? Put those habits the way you speak, the way you think. Your morning routine, your financial habit, your eating habits. Put every one of them under a microscope. Everyone and you know, when I worked with clients No, we're not gonna do it overnight. That's overwhelming. Which one area do We want to move the needle too, you know? Do we want to move the needle up on Where are we not driving? And we have a whole system we go through, you know, the different areas of life, what is the most important for you to move the needle. And the cool thing is, the really cool thing is what they pick the area that is causing them the most pain. And they start moving the needle there. 88 disperse. The domino effect starts moving in all the area

Abby:   18:36
that I couldn't see how that would be true. Grabbed the biggest bull by the horns. Now, when you are doing the life coaching now, a lot of us yet we only know about life coaching from Roseanne, right? We know about Aunt Jackie and she's a like a and so ah, lot of only they know if it is a joke, then they hear something like, Well, I got a life coach and it's like you. What? So tell me about that. When someone who reads a life coach, what do you do to help them? Is one and and just, you know, right, Give me that explanation so people better understand what that really means.

Jen:   19:09
Yeah, I'm actually a life performance coach and, you know, and I've lived my life in, you know, very two different, very, very different worlds. One where I literally hardly graduated some high school. I just There was no structure. There was no routine I like most about things going on. I mean, the last kid I was alone. Older time, you know, there's a lot of criticism and and so I lived that underachiever, like my whole childhood, joined the Navy was able to like I said, Couple my attitude that I choose to have and I skills to do so with structure, routine and habits. And so so now what I get to do is get to share that with other people, a life coach. The people that I work with are people better people that are growth minded, successful people who say I like, But you know, I want to be. I'm crushing it at work. I'm the CEO of a company, but as a step parent, I'm struggling or I also work with people on the mind set piece, her weight loss, you know, There it is the mindset or for the financial people. You know, So many people have these relationships with money and, you know, we draw our dominating thought. So I think I saved some. But, you know, to my husband ordered my kindred myself almost every day. I'm a money magnet, you know. Money. Literally. Find me. It's like the craziest thing my husband says he existed. I'm the luckiest person in the world. What? I'm extremely positive. I know that I'm the money not

Abby:   20:47
creating the environment.

Jen:   20:50
Yeah, well, but you know our word. Really? Really. They pull our future into existence. Our words do that. They draw our future. That's what our words. D'oh! So we have to be really, really careful about the words that we use the words we say because what happens is two things. A That frequency goes out. And I say, you know, regardless of your religion, you just kind of ordered it from whoever you think is above right, the negative, the complaints or whatever. But the other thing is, we're also bringing into our subconscious mind and our mind believes what we tell it. It believes it. We have to be. We have to guard our ears. We have to guard our eyes because those are the gateways into our our show, really? And then Sogard what we're watching. Make sure that it it's in alignment with where we want to be living and who we want to be. But then we have to be really careful with those words to make sure that they're also in alignment Right

Abby:   21:59
now. Let me let me ask you this that I know that a lot of our listeners work in because it's called her brotherhood. And so we work with a lot of men. We work in male dominated fields or, like the military law enforcement. Yeah, so I'm trying to think of a place where a universal piece of advice would be really helpful, and but we hear a lot. Is women's struggling, working with the males are in a male dominated place. They struggle with fitting in. They struggle with whether it's taking up all of that. So if you were to meet a girl that was looking for some inspiration and she was struggling in that place and just completely down on herself and about to give up like let's just say she was at boot camp for the Navy or whatever it might be. Where would you start with her?

Jen:   22:40
Well, you know, our mindset is really everything, you know, show. You know, I I think that saying I'm a leader and I'm going to bring the best out of every situation is really, really important. I'll tell you, my husband was He retired as a Navy diver, a Navy pilot, but he was a Navy diver, and I I'm sticky to women, but about a man. But there was a girl for a moment. But see, he was like a young dish one. He was the weakest one in. The funny thing is, he's actually super physically said, But again, you know, came from a background of not living a high performance life. And they use the weak link, and they were trying to kind of get him down. And he was in full week and they tried to drown you, and he said, I'm going to die before I quit. That was mentality, he said. I started dive school as a boy, and I graduated as a man, right? So So for me, it's not. It's not an option like quitting is not an option. And if the money it's the thought comes in your head for a moment, right, that might come in for a moment. What we can do is we can shrink, wrap it, and we could say This is not an option for Mitt. So what happens is we have the prefrontal cortex, the front of our brain. That's very analytical, and it makes a decision, and then we have this rep filial brain. The oldest part of our brain is in the back of our head, and that's the fighter flight, right? And that's the one who says you should quit. You should quit it. It's the one that wants to keep you alive or the donut smoke a cigarette, have the drink. And so what it does is it starts between the prefrontal cortex, which is weaker, then the back, the bendy Brazilian part of the brain. And once the chatter in the back and forth goes, eventually it'll win. You know, eventually, usually the reptilian part of your brain wins. But what happens is if we shrink, wrap it when we say this is not an option. I did it with potato chips last night it

Abby:   24:53
were and left.

Jen:   24:54
Like I love potato chips entirely too much. Okay, Yeah, but it worked. So what way? Have to stop that dialogue. That's really, really important. Quitting is not an option. And then you focus exactly on the goal. You focus it use visualize that you shaving your head, you state. And if it already happened,

Abby:   25:18
I dig it Shrink wrap, that is I'm gonna stick that one in my head because I haven't I haven't heard it way before Cole Street. And tonight I'll be sharing trappings and chocolate. I know, I know. I like that. Because a lot of the internal dialogues that are happening with women in these in these male dominated fields or I'm not good enough for they're talking about me or they're, you know, whether they are being harassed or bullied or whatever it might be like, no matter how, how simple or orange good it is. It can rip someone completely apart because their mind spends out on the most micro behaviors.

Jen:   25:51
You're you're You're absolutely right. And what what happened? You know, and I was in a situation in the navy where, you know there were There were some stuff going on where he was, you know, I was targeted. I was in the shop and, you know, and there was not good stuff going on, but but watches. I wasn't focused on being a victim or being bullied. I was hyper focused on what? It's a solution, because, remember, way we draw our dominating thoughts. If we're thinking this is the problem, you know, I'm this nail dominating. This is this is that if we're focused on the problem, just what you're gonna get more problems. But if you are focused on the still beautician, yes, If you get yeah, it's powerful. It's really, really powerful. We can't help certain things that happened in our lives. But what we can do is control the way we react to them, and one. That's why I teach people that have a very, very strong emotional immune system, because with a strong emotional immune system, it's easy. But we're waking up and we're we're starting our day off, being proactive. We're hitting Snooze. We're doing this for climbing along. Uh, I'm telling my clients their morning routines are so dialed in, and what we do is we make it so easy. And what we do is we have a staff, things that you do. Anyway. So, for example, I make coffee every day. So what do I do when I make coffee? My dear? Positive right there. Boom. I put in that great podcast. Just it gives me momentum. You know, I review my goals everyday. I write my country every day a new I work with clients to come up with their personal mission statement and their core values. And then we have them say, every day. My words must be intentional and in alignment with my core value. And when they read their core values, Like for me, I am a leader. I am authentic. I am positive. It's always I am. Use your words. Speak your future into insistence.

Abby:   27:59
I feel like I'm getting one hell of a coaching session from you right now. Like listening to you. What? I really I'm I'm like, taking it all in and filtering it in. And what is? You know how it all applies in my life. And you know, I'm already like, dammit, I hit snooze like twice this morning. I've got it, I got it. You know, I got to do that. Make your bet on American morning. Oh, yeah. Trying to be better

Jen:   28:20
every single morning. Yeah, well, you know what? It's literally taking bite size, you know? Like, how do you elephant one by the literally? How how do you start your day? So for me prayers when I start my day with fair Well, what do I do? How can I How can I make it so that never, ever get for gotten well, I have events at the end of my that and, you know, look it up. Leather, Ottoman type. Event as I'm going to the bathroom, which I'm passing anyway, have a have to be very convenient. Initially, before their autopilot, as I walked to the bathroom, I stopped at the bend to my friends. Get to my knees inside. I share my day off like that. I got to make my coffee. I while I'm there, get what in that beverage center are lemons. I'm gonna do lemon water. Oh, my gosh. I'm doing London water. Next. You know, I'm adding apple cider vinegar. Next scene on adding into really discussing mushroom.

Abby:   29:18
That's really good for

Jen:   29:19
your immune system.

Abby:   29:20
Like what you're doing it

Jen:   29:22
over the over the years, I stacked all these good things, you know, And again, we are nothing more than a byproduct products of our habit. I'm telling you, my client, we put our habits what we're doing under a microscope. And if there's anything in your life that you feel like you're not as an 11 with, put that here under microscope, put it under, Okay, what? And how can we move that needle? But you'll see it. Move the needle in all the area

Abby:   29:55
and the one bite size at a time, like you're saying, Because when you think about that, you're like, OK, well, how many habits don't know others and then you start thinking of Where am I letting myself down every day? What do I need to focus on? It can be really overwhelming, you know, between being a parent and employees and all of this stuff, it can partner. You know, that's a tough one, too. And so you can really you could get down on yourself so quickly and give up

Jen:   30:16

Abby:   30:16
every single day. But here, every single day you have a chance to start over, and that's the hard part. I think that's what's hard for everybody is the feeling like they have progress feeling like they're moving forward and and so the one bite at a time. And so, for for people tomorrow like that are haven't been in this mindset what is. And I think you kind of already told us. But what is the one little micro thing you can do tomorrow to take the first bite of your elephant?

Jen:   30:43
Mmm. Um, I would say the star being proactive in your life so we can't take control of our life if we're living a reactive life. So So, for example, like my Children, they don't know how to complain because they they've been taught and and it's very hard initially when and I've worked with a lot of clients where this gets really tricky, how can we flip show people when they rather than speaking about problems If they speak in solution, speak in the solutions and you see with parenting all the time, stop running rather than that. Walk that finding with your brother rather than we love each other. Let's take a break. We want to be in a lying it with the results that we want. So I think I think I'm a proactive person and I speak in solution. It will change your life. It will change your life and then look at where you're not at 11. And what can you do to move that needle? It's okay wherever you are, friend. I mean, I was like a girl. Joining the Navy would lack to this. I

Abby:   31:57

Jen:   31:58
you know, and then ended up being up to qualify for the fitness America. So when my twins were 20 you mind old? Why is that? It is the mind, that habit. Yeah,

Abby:   32:10
well, I'm picturing I keep falling back to that place where you're going into boot camp in and here you're So you were overweight, right? Is that what you're saying? So you were over the weight limit that process. So you probably weren't where you fit

Jen:   32:24
with a bit more

Abby:   32:25
young fit. Were you physically fit? Like where you might have been overwhelmed, But I mean, were you okay? They went in as an underdog, right? And that

Jen:   32:34

Abby:   32:34
happy as a lot, especially with women. Because it's one thing if you go in and you're at the top your fitness game here, and it's still hard. But going in like that, being being overweight, being under fit, um, you know, going in with those disadvantages. Yet you went in and you kicked ass and you loved it. That is a love that is not very often

Jen:   32:55
you, but you know it. You know, I I actually, um you know, I definitely have to have a very positive attitude. And, you know, I really actually coached my husband with that, which is, you know, not his default. But now he does his morning routines, and he is like, he's adding 11 which, you know, is

Abby:   33:15
this awesome,

Jen:   33:15
beautiful and incredible. But but I would go with them. I said, You just didn't have it bad enough.

Abby:   33:22
You didn't

Jen:   33:24
really. This is really funny. You know, our Children are there 20 years old and they're in college. No, you tell a story. So stories they love hearing stories about home were younger. Well, evidently, when I was gone one day day about boot camp and the gas chamber, and he was like, Oh, the horrible like I could please. I think you have a nose that could stop coffee. Was horrible here in Italy, you know? And that's a normal reaction like that when I was and I feel like So what was the cast were like, Oh, it was no big deal. You pull up your masking, you stay your total security number and you're running

Abby:   34:03

Jen:   34:04

Abby:   34:04
No big

Jen:   34:05
deal alone. And they're laughing because the way we perceive things become our reality, right? And it really, really does on. So we want to be sure that I just have to tell this one story really

Abby:   34:23
quickly. There

Jen:   34:23
were two and I'm gonna blitz butcher it a little bit. There were two brothers. The mother had passed away. The dad was a severe alcoholic and they go into foster care that accused of an alcoholic, the boys grow up and they studied them. And one of them followed in the dad in its footsteps and you can't exactly like a gas. And then the other one became super successful, Never talked, touched a drop of about a whole new life. So they interviewed them. They said, Well, what made you choose the life that you do? You had your knee. Is they both had the same e answer they both said my father well, isn't the

Abby:   35:06
powerful. How

Jen:   35:08
do we How do we pick this? The trauma, the negativity? How do we take it and flip

Abby:   35:17

Jen:   35:18
How do we learn? How do we become strong? How do we forgive? And then how do we help others?

Abby:   35:26
That's excellent. That is Thank you for sharing that story, because that is, that's a real eye opener. Well, that and it ties right into the gas chamber. Right. Let's me honest. I could only imagine if you guys were able to split screen the day you were in it. And the day that he was in it with both of you in there, one of you crying like a baby,

Jen:   35:46
you know, like, my thing is like, Okay, he's still, for example, with my work, I do a lot of paperwork fond of people, nobody people of like I mean, I meant for new agents, and they're like, Well, why are you getting into this? Like I left people in houses on like you won't. And

Abby:   36:01
you wanted to see Oh, I'm

Jen:   36:04
only joking. But what people don't realize is literally half of our job is paper. Where ended that is definitely not my favorite thing to do. What I do is, rather than the things I gotta do people work. It's sex. Sex sucks. Actually, I fortunately know that it's not my strength, really Do out store most of it. Well, the things that I have to do if I keep it for my assistant on the weekend of these time sensitive when I do it rather than saying this sucks, this sucks as such, which would weaken me. I say I'm gonna feel so good when this is God, I'm get so everything in life, the way we speak to ourselves, we can either strengthen ourselves or a week in ourselves, Harry Deane and I'm in the habit of strengthening myself. You know, I'm in the habit of that. And, you know, like today I went to the gym and the orange theory class that I wanted to get into which full I couldn't go. At my normal time, I almost used us. Excuse to not go. I said no. I'm a winner. I complete. I said I was gonna go today and I went on there. You know, I'm on the treadmill and I looked in the mirror. I said, You know what? You did it. You're a winner. And I tell myself that I do. And I fortunately have been able to train my my Children, my clients, my husband, You know, the kids were easy. They were raised by me on, um, you know, But you know it. It really works.

Abby:   37:32
Now how can people work with you more? How can they learn more from you? Get more from you. And I know you're starting a podcast. So as I was landing

Jen:   37:41
on Yeah, so it's actually I am going, you know, I get so many requests. And so I'm starting out with this online called The Thriving Entrepreneur showed And, um, that's arriving on nor show dot com and you can sign up for join in. It's It's a Free class, the Free Siris And what well company all the time. Well, and, you know, Willie and I were baby people and wounded me. Me and we moved to this town 18 years ago, and the drastically increased our network, and we kind of did it on a stage where, you know, you say that because we moved from one neighborhood to another to another to another. And we did it actually because in vault low and sold high, bought, low, sold high kept doing that. And we also bought in sold over 300 homes and we didn't spend the money. We invested the money show and then we have a healthy rental portfolio. So people come to us like I'm one to what you're doing. But when you hear them, they don't have the mindset. So making the money is the vehicle. That's just the vehicle that that's expected. The easy part. It's a mindset part that has to be dialed in and and and the money follows, right? So I believe leading with generosity hewed, You have to give you have to pour into Have you have you have d'oh you know, both financially or, you know, emotionally happy give, because I've never met a happy, selfish person in my entire life. And, um but I think that it's, um I forgot where we were going.

Abby:   39:28
Highway urine. Tell me about the show. Your online show? Yeah.

Jen:   39:32
Yes. So I put together the driving on the North Shore because I'm Ivan spreadable. Incredible guest. My boss, Dr Zimmerman, who play the king of happiness and positivity. I have anarchist or on their told, a $1,000,000,000 company. I have several other coaches on their I have incredible entrepreneurs and literally, I've learned from every every single one of them. And I'm and I'm good and I'm leading him. But I'm a lifelong learner, and they they were there. Just amazing. So that launches. And then also my website jen Williamson dot com. You can sign up for a free discovery call. 30 minute call. Just make sure that I'm in the line with you. You're in alignment with me. And now I'm fortunate I get to work with people where I make good fit for them and I he helped transform their lives. And if not, then I there might be somebody that is a better fit for them, But, um, but it Yeah, it is. It made its amazing doing this work. And, you know, I know that I was created like this for a purpose, and and I know it's, um it's bigger than me. And, um, you know, I don't think I went through my lessons for me. I think I went through it sharing to inspire other people. I really believe that

Abby:   40:48
that's inspirational. They I can sell by knowing you and by seeing you that that is absolutely trail. And now what is Willie Dale? What does he do now that he's done with the Navy?

Jen:   40:58
Yeah, sure. He was in for 20 years. So he's a full time real estate investor. So, you know, we have a really healthy rental portfolio, that humanity, um, he's still in. The story's hard to get here, so, you know, well, one point words, like 45 houses in the year. And now, you know, this year we might do seven or eight. We actually just been offering on one today. I'm getting ready to lift one of his tomorrow. You know, as long as we can still keep properties, Will will continue to flip those. But, you know, we're really doing more with the coat king, you know? So we both believe in sitting in your right feet. Your willy is a very, very strong, strong leader, but you know, he is behind the scenes, you know. He doesn't have.

Abby:   41:42
He's okay with

Jen:   41:43
this. Like he is. He's an introvert. Extrovert. Think that this for not both Extra bucks to two married extroverts are adjusting. But you know he does the back and he does the financial tried of things he does, you know? Obviously I were investing, but also the things with the coaching in the show, you know, the accounting and his accountant. But no, obviously we're she comes in. Keeper comes a couple times a week, but they really runs the business side of things hand. And I'm the face. Really, really. You were great combo and I had a great this distance. So we all sit in the seat where which is like our our our genius. And that's that's another thing. You know that people need a look at it. You know what is your genius? And, you know, like I believe in personality test saying, I think that that, you know, by if you don't really know, you know, take a test, a couple of tests. I work with clients and I have them tested, and that's a really, you know, to discover how you're wired is really powerful. And then to fit in the right seat, an outdoor, you know, like you know, I have a friend who, actually I interviewed her on the writing entrepreneur show, and she she loved the way I might lifestyle the way I lived in. I didn't really know her 13 years ago, and she said, I want to have you over my house In my one interview I like Okay, we're both all right 30 years ago. So he has me over for a body and something. Hodges, mani pedi, special people, anything like scalp massages. And her assistant is picking all these notes on me. She was just intrigue like, Why does this girl have it? Why she's so happy she has it. And she's done extremely well herself, but very, very smart on. Nor should take all the nose and the week I'm like It was a little lead. I came home for my, for my husband. I said, It's a little strength, but you know, good for her. She's running the large, getting my recipes. Where do I work out, like, Why are you thin? And, like, trying get my code, Really? And so we we've developed a great friendship with my best friends. I say we've sharpened each other for over 13 years, and, um, and the Eiger unusable statements technically, competitors could. She owns a real estate brokers on, but it doesn't matter because we both have abundant mentalities and got a sense of bits of all of us. But today, she said, you know what's wrong with you and Willie? She says. You're both really smart and hard working, she said. You need a long, how to be smart and lazy. She's a unique out short. You are too much of a hard worker. So she gifted Mei an assistant for half a day who did my laundry, cleaned out my freezer, anything I didn't want to. D'oh! And I haven't been laundering 13 years. Wow. And like I mean, I don't chop my vegetables. I don't sort my vitamins like coming on. I have so much appreciation for the value of my time, and I'm not saying that everybody listening is going to be there right away, because that's not the case. But watch this. When were bob down? When we're bogged down, it's really, really hard to grow. Yeah, it's a busy, Busy is just see puts the brakes on for an entrepreneur ready? You don't want to be busy,

Abby:   45:20
right? You wanted to get rid of accessing anything. It's, um if you can afford to have somebody do something for you that is just taking up your time. Yeah. Do the better things. That is. My goal is to get to that point with a lot of little stuff. Yeah, and so that's I'm who?

Jen:   45:34
Well, and putting things under a microscope. Like what? Um, I came for, you know, like, one of my best friends is a doctor, and I know speak very, very, very good money. And I didn't quite know what are you taking? But you pick up extra shifts twice a year and never do your laundry or kind of vegetable again, right? It's just great. So, you know, you really we get second paradigm in the habit or we have the scarcity mind set of a like Tia, you know? And when we think and scarcity, we get scared when we think abundance. When we say you know what, I'm gonna take this off my plate. It's gonna give me more free time with my Children. And guess what? I'm ready for money to, you know now, I didn't waste a band with my band with folding underwear,

Abby:   46:27
right? Yeah, absolutely. I'm with you 1000% 1000% and I didn't used to understand that. But it's learning from people like you that that I have learned more about rum, that's for sure. Now there's a lot of folks in here because you're talking real estate and you guys, you know, bought low, sold high and all that. But for all the people listening who aren't in a real estate, and but they would love to be wrong at one point not even talking about the mindset. If there is somebody that's like, Well, there's no wait, that's I don't own a home. I don't whatever. Like, for people that are just scraping by wanting to go forward. What is the first step in getting into real estate?

Jen:   47:03
Well, they might not even want Millis E. So what I would say is, if you want to grow, let's say more. Well, start learning about it. Just start learning. Just start learning about it started. Don't don't Don't by, of course, on how to flip houses. I mean, they, those people, and I know those people who sell them. They're actually making more money selling the course, and they're flipping houses. But really, there's so much free information out there. This great podcast, Gordon's driving entrepreneur. So, you know, great book. I mean, I learned from some of the best of the best when I was broke. I mean, I was disgusted. Listen to John Maxwell. You can get audible for $15 months. It's for you here and you'll get a book a month. So I would use my credit for the more expensive book. But then I would buy the cheaper one.

Abby:   47:59
That's what I'm daring. I'm in the middle of the Bernie Brown series. Yeah, one of my very, very,

Jen:   48:04
very, very, very good. She's awesome. She's so I It's really weird. I don't own the emotion. Guilt I choose cannot, um, so, like, I just I just don't own guilt. Um, because if something doesn't feel right, then I just don't do it, you know, like, and she'll do it. Um, and I know that that's a rare because I plenty of clients that that do. But, um, and I think it's because I was raised with, um, you know, a mother's why star really kind of tortured herself with guilt. And, um, you know, and I really know lover to pieces, but that will hold you hostage right now. But I'm John Maxwell. Amazing. Brendan Bouchard is great. Um, you know, I I love Shanda Sumpter and listen to yes, she's driven. She's amazing. Amazing. And that's one reason why I'm doing this because I've found there in the past. When I started listening so few women leaders, that was speaking leadership on. And I was like, I could be like between Robbins like I have increased. I just need a package it and do it. And I'll tell you one of things that limited me so many years is perfectionism, you know, and the fear of looking stupid or not doing it, the level that I do other things in my life. You know, I do think that I do really well because I better. I've been doing them for so many years

Abby:   49:36
writing the Impossible

Jen:   49:37
Mom. Yeah, and then could be calm like a kindergartner again when you've been like a Ph. D. It's something, you know, the there's there's some mental toughness. You got it built up with that and, you know, check the ego and get out of the perfectionism. But I'll tell you, I'm driven to share this information because it's not about me. It's not about me. Like this is about people that are Ruli suffering. And they can make micro changes in their mind, set in their habits and have a completely different life. I see It worked. I see it. I mean, I literally just got a phone call yesterday with which was a huge thank you about how what I taught this person. It will forever have changed her relationship with her child on, um, you know, and did I do it perfect? No. And that's hard from Abe Excite. You know, I want to do everything perfect. Great production, right? You know, have everything looks very professional, but, um,

Abby:   50:48
that's it wouldn't be leaning into this so hard if you weren't seeing the results.

Jen:   50:53
Oh, absolutely. And I am a living bristles. I mean, you know, it's funny. I just did a post on my Facebook take, which is Gen. William. Then I could, ah, post on it. And I thought about this Dr North Show getting ready to air and so many people commenting on it like people that knew leave Mike childhood better. Just so moved. And like, they just cheer me on because they knew,

Abby:   51:17
Knew you wins

Jen:   51:18
getting elevated. Yeah, they use any felonies and they they knew they remember they were in that apartment with furniture. I mean, they remember that that girl and, um, you know it. I wanted power and power. That right,

Abby:   51:34
this is about me. Now when you're in its proof, it's it's proof. It's just like the two. The two men that one chose to be now calling on the other one had a successful life. You chose the right path you chose a great path probably wasn't always easy. And I'm betting it's not is it wasn't as always, easy as you, sir, Make it seem like I'm betting that gas chamber was a little miserable. But you have a great god. It's all about mine, said it's all about attitude in perspective. No, And I was so glad that you got out of that apartment. And I'm so glad that you went and joined the Navy. And I am so glad that year where you are right now and you're sharing this with us. I can't imagine your two sons and what it must be for them as your Children

Jen:   52:15
get the boy and a girl.

Abby:   52:16
Okay, Boy, the girl went full

Jen:   52:17
yet they're 20.

Abby:   52:19
Can't actually

Jen:   52:19
just got back from China. He was setting and kinda, he's learning Mandarin. He went home with meandering, and, um and and, you know, we It was interesting that I had heard that only child for a month. He wasn't even home for Christmas. And and, you know, we it was Rice said that one on one. Although we miss him dearly. Exactly like they're both bright lights on,

Abby:   52:42
you know,

Jen:   52:42
Such incredible human. Well, you know what she said to me? She said, You know, I feel so blessed, Mom, that I got to learn from your theory is that I didn't have to go through them.

Abby:   52:54
Yeah, that's beautiful. That is really Yeah. She sees it like that. She's not looking at it like I don't deserve this or that because I didn't fight for it like you did. She's looking like your fight was her fight, and now she gets to learn from it, and that's really good. Yeah. Yeah, well,

Jen:   53:08
I change. You know, when? When you were Well, you really changed generations to come. So I took it really seriously. And, you know, the other thing is, is it terrifying, Which is nothing more than leadership is you Look at your with your Children. Let's say it home with up. Right. But yet you're gonna live hopefully 100 years with them, right? Well, from 18 on from 18 to 100 all of that determine 1st 18 like that 1st 18 Thailand in put it under a microscope. We're teaching them their relationship food with money, with conflict spouses. I mean, we had a little have a faint we're teaching, and then our relationship, you know the song, Captain, A cradle over that cliff. You know, that flips. And, you know, I've watched out even with, you know, with my own parents were like, No. Now, my mom stepfather were amazing, you know, they're retired, but they're like they wanted more time. That right, And but yet it I want to spend more time when I was younger. And but, you know, now I'm in my career and, you know, raising my Children, and it split. But, you know, I actually speak with her every day in the week, but But point being is we have to be really, really intentional with our relationship with our spell and with other people.

Abby:   54:44
Beautiful. Thank you. Can I think I could talk to you for a couple of hours on the show? I am that I'm not. I could So if you guys, you can't see her. But so we're talking through seemingly I can see her and she is just doing laps around her house, just like I can tell. She's a moving thinker. She's doing laps around her house and you're like me If I was right now unable to walk that So that's how I d'oh, um, with that I just want you to tell us one more time where we can find you. Tell me about social. Tell me you're right. Say it again and we'll close out with that

Jen:   55:16
Thio on social media on Jen K and Williamson, um, and then the thriving entrepreneur show dot com and you can sign up for that, which pleases so Oh, my God. Amazing human being on that. And then, uh, and then you can email me at that. Dan Williamson dot com and my website in lanes on dot com, and I would love to hear from you. I would I would actually love feedback on what you thought of this podcast area. What do you want, Maura? And And I ask that because you know, I'm fortunate to be in a position where I can talk about leadership. I can talk about feeling and company I could talk about. Well, I could talk about Kay, and look, I've been through the hard part of it. That's why I want to share. And I wanted to save you some stop, you know? What do you want more of? I really, really want to know. Like like what hit home for you.

Abby:   56:15
Perfect. I'm sure that you will hear from them. And when you guys reach out to her, let her know where you heard from and and what you didn't? That would be great. All right, Jin. Well, with that, we're gonna

Jen:   56:24
be great

Abby:   56:25
clothes out. And thank you so much for spending this time with me. I've like I said, I didn't know where interview let go. And I'm just so yeah, that we just I love having these conversations, like is organic as possible. And you just never know. So thank you. So I love

Jen:   56:39
what you're doing. I love what you're doing. You are empowering women. And I think it's so fantastic. I really D'oh! So thank you for being a blessing. And I have some other really credible girlfriends. So be sure to reach out to me for some

Abby:   56:53
X. Some

Jen:   56:53
people that you want to interview. I mean, my goodness, one of my girlfriends, she she's up place off certain he is.

Abby:   57:00

Jen:   57:00
You're an amazing excuse. My language bad. A like but beautiful mom, like, puzzles me. She's much more about us than I am

Abby:   57:11
s. Oh,

Jen:   57:12
I'd love to make that.

Abby:   57:12
We're all so much more than your job title. And I can't wait. I am gonna be reaching out to you because I do want to hear about these other women Said thank you for mentioning that.

Jen:   57:20
Great. All

Abby:   57:21
right, lady. Wonderful. Okay, you two. I will see you soon.